When Ronaldinho Got Bored at Barcelona and Created a Pass That Broke Football Logic
In addition to teaching us to love our neighbours and to avoid the Labour Party by trying to feed a whole community on five loaves and two fishes, one of the primary lessons of the Bible is that the devil’s workshop is an idle mind.
The literal interpretation, which holds that a person with little upstairs is a prime candidate for wicked deeds, may be safely placed next to the more boxer-wetting parts of the Bible that promote obedience over individualism.
The premise changes completely, though, when it comes to football at the highest level. A place where people may be creative and innovative and push the game’s limits beyond being first to the second ball and 4-4-2.
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Alternatively, if you’re Ronaldinho, you might be so psychologically uninspired during a match where winning La Liga was at stake that you come up with a physics-defying pass to cap your ascent to the stars.
Ronaldinho gracefully handled a 50-yard diagonal pass from Rafael Marquez during Barcelona’s May 2006 visit to Celta Vigo, a stadium known across Spain as a “Tough Place to Visit.”
In 2006, when mainstream technology had not advanced past Snake and novelty ringtones, the control alone would have given rise to a million GIFs.
However, Ronaldinho was not done yet. The former Brazil international jiggled inside with a sensual hip swerve and pinged a delivery across the penalty area that had more backspin than Shane Warne’s whole bowling career.
As the Celta Vigo defence stood still, their jaws on the ground, the ball travelled quickly and flat.
Henrik Larsson had one of the best assists ever if he had put the opportunity away rather than having the goalie’s knees save his shot. But don’t let trivial issues like “end product” and “goal contributions” to influence your decisions.
Ronaldinho completed a pass in a matter of seconds that would have been appropriate for a FIFA cheat code.
This was man’s greatest creative achievement; forget about the pyramids, medical advancements, and the creation of sliced bread.
So why make a decision? We cannot comprehend the level of focus required for elite football, and even those who make it appear effortless cannot afford to take a break.
The response is straightforward: Ronaldinho was unique. At his finest, Ronaldinho was without a doubt the world’s best player from 2004 to 2006.
With a Copacabana wriggle of his pelvis, he could entice the entire Chelsea defence, who let up fewer goals than an emotionally-stuck Love Island participant, score goals whenever he wanted, and offer assists while he slept.
On a special night in 2005, even the Bernabeu Stadium stood up and applauded Ronaldinho despite the fact that he had degraded the Real Madrid XI with his skill.
Few athletes have experienced such joy, and in a Clasico, their biggest rival’s supporters cheer you on. “Very few have experienced such joy,” Ronaldinho remarked in 2015.
He was allegedly “too ugly” for Madrid’s Galactico brand, which is why they turned down their offer to sign him.
He was so skilled that opponents allegedly paid bribes to hurt him. In 2020, former Argentina and Celta Vigo defender Fernando Caceres disclosed, “We were playing a match between Celta and Barca in Vigo.”
I kicked Ronaldinho from behind the first time he attempted to grab the ball. As I assisted him in standing up, I informed him that I had been paid 500,000 pesetas (€3,005) to evict him from the pitch.
“If you can catch me,” he said. I stopped marking him. I felt afraid. He was an excellent, powerful, and remarkable player when he was furious. He was going to make me look unwise.
“I couldn’t possibly mark him during the game again.” It’s no surprise that the buck-toothed magician found tasks like winning the league or scoring a goal uninteresting.
Moments like that remind you why Ronaldinho wasn’t just a footballer, he was an entertainer who played for joy, not trophies
After all, this was a de-mob-happy Ronaldinho just weeks before he would win the Champions League final and Brazil would be the overwhelming favourites to win the World Cup again.
That mix of swagger and mischief was what made him unforgettable. What better moment to subvert convention and the laws of physics?
